Kuzul

Thor Bjornsson, also known as Ser Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane in HBO’s Game of Thrones, is in Philadelphia taking in the Phillies’ home tilt against the Arizona Diamondbacks on this fine Friday afternoon.

While your first instinct might be to pack a bag of nonperishables and flee the city, rest assured that The Mountain has come in peace—kind of.

Comcast SportsNet Philadelphia’s John Clark spotted the 6’9″, 419-pound Icelandic strongman on the field at Citizens Bank Park. He’s wearing a custom Phillies jersey, playing with bats and, according to Clark, crushing heads and tossing around the Phillie Phanatic.

Diamondbacks broadcaster Steve Berthiaume tweeted a photo of Bjornsson grappling with the Phanatic:

In fairness to The Mountain, that’s a traditional Westerosi greeting.

On the less fighty side, Bjornsson appears to be having a good time in the City of Brotherly Love. He posted a picture earlier in the day of himself eating his first Philly cheese steak, which looks more like a cheese-covered meat Twinkie in his giant hand:

He also popped into Devil’s Den Restaurant and Bar on Thursday night to meet with fans, where more head-crushing took place:

We welcome you to America, Thor. You may have Philadelphia as your castle if you promise not to burn and pillage the Eastern Seaboard. 

Dan is on Twitter. Brace yourself. The Mountain has come.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

Like the real-life Family Guy chicken fight, Elvis Andrus and Adrian Beltre remain locked in an unending battle of wits and reflexes.

Specifically, Andrus really likes touching Beltre’s head, because it irritates the Texas Rangers third baseman to no end, and at this point, he’s been doing it for so long that stopping would be unnatural and wrong.

The latest installment of the Great Beltre Head Tap Wars occurred Monday night during the Rangers’ 8-2 manhandling of the Kansas City Royals. In the bottom of the fourth, Beltre knocked a two-run dinger over the right field wall to give Texas a 6-1 lead.

It marked the 399th career home run for the 36-year-old, and Beltre faced a predictable flurry of head taps from Andrus and company when he returned to the dugout.

As the sportscasters noted, it really is only a matter of time, guys.

One day it will be a bad day—a day when Beltre wakes up late, his deodorant breaks in half, and he reflexively punches Andrus in the neck when the touch of a clammy hand graces his head.

It’s a “when” situation more than an “if,” and I only hope the cameras catch every second in slow motion:

Best friends are the worst.

Dan is on Twitter. Buff the Beltre at your own risk.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

Appearing on Monday night’s The Late Show with David Letterman, Will Ferrell reminded us that while everyone has a Harry Caray impression, his is the only one that matters.

Ferrell joined David Letterman onstage to talk about important topics like the host’s upcoming retirement and President Barack Obama’s hand in bringing down the Berlin Wall.

The best part in all this may be the YouTube comment section of this video, where a number of people claim they had to Google the late MLB sportscaster to figure out who he was.

Sigh.

Dan is on Twitter. Call him “Whiskers.”

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

The Chicago Cubs walked into a buzz saw against the Milwaukee Brewers on Saturday. 

The Brewers cranked out a 6-1 spanking of the Cubbies—a five-run deficit that could’ve been cut down if not for a comedy of errors and casual defense on the part of Starlin Castro and Anthony Rizzo.

Brewers outfielder Logan Schafer hit a routine bouncer to short that was fielded by Castro. The shortstop had an easy out in his crosshairs but botched the throw to Rizzo at first. Assuming Schafer would run cautiously, Rizzo took his time gathering the ball and panicked when the baserunner turned for third.

Rizzo overthrew the ball, and Schafer ended up making it to the dish for a “Little League” home run. 

Dan is on Twitter. Little league home runs are still home runs.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

In news that comes as a body blow to baseball and American sports at large, Yasiel Puig says he plans to cut back drastically on the trademark bat flips fans have come to know and love him for.

The Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder told the Los Angeles Times‘ Dylan Hernandez his bat-flipping detente comes as a response to those who perceive his habit of tossing away the lumber after a long hit as disrespectful.

“I want to show American baseball that I’m not disrespecting the game,” Puig said in Spanish. “… I don’t [flip my bat] because I lack respect. I do that because of the emotions I have.”

The Cuban defector showed fans his new, flip-less side on Monday after homering in the Dodgers’ 6-5 win over the Seattle Mariners. He held the bat out for a flip through force of habit but elected to drop the wood at his side. 

It’s absurd that Puig—a player in a league that deals with rampant PED usage, petty plunk battles and drunk driving issues on a consistent basis—would feel guilt over his preferred method of discarding a bat. That he’s going out of his way to conform to a vocal minority is either a testament to his own desire to please baseball snobs or additional evidence that baseball is a sport that forgot it was a sport.

There are bigger threats to the “sanctity of the game” than a young ballplayer upending his bat in a fit of joy, and, unsurprisingly, fans of Puig and the bat flip are already rallying for its return to his repertoire. 

Sarah Wexler, a Dodgers fan and bat-flip enthusiast, has gone as far as making a Change.org petition asking for Puig to “ignore the haters and batflip your heart out.”

Wexler writes that bat-flipping is the gift that keeps on giving, and the joyless purists who decry the practice make it all the more satisfying.

Batflipping is exciting. It’s entertaining. It’s harmless (well, except to those with fragile egos). For some reason, fogies who hate fun hate batflips, which in turn makes them even more fun. …

You know who disrespects the game? People who believe that “respect” for the game means players should all be stiff, emotionless and, well, entirely uninteresting. People who insist that there’s one right way to do things and, in effect, erase the many different baseball cultures throughout the world.

On the bright side, Puig says he may still flip his bat on occasion, if the moment is big enough.

“If it’s a big home run or if I’m frustrated because I couldn’t connect in my previous at-bats or if I drive in important runs for my team, I might do it,” Puig said. “You never know. I can’t say I won’t do it.”

Do it, Puig. I don’t care if it’s on a dribbler to the pitcher—you grip that bat and flip it up into the troposphere. Baseball needs it.

Dan is on Twitter. Don’t be held down by The Man, Yasiel.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

You’ll come across some weird sights if you head down to Marlins Park this spring.

There’s rain falling indoors, but perhaps even stranger, a pitcher who leaps like a hunter-gatherer throwing a spear while hurling the ball over the plate.

This is Carter Capps, whose strange pitch delivery has drawn attention from fans and umpires alike as he’s made his way through the minor leagues and into the Marlins bullpen.

Miami called Capps up after losing ace Henderson Alvarez to shoulder inflammation Sunday, and the unconventional pitcher made his 2015 debut during Monday’s 3-2 loss to the Atlanta Braves. Capps pitched one inning, recording one strikeout and allowing zero hits for three batters faced.

Sportscasters began commenting on the righty’s style before his first pitch, mentioning that minor league umpires had recently objected to his leaving the rubber while playing for the New Orleans Zephyrs.

Capps gave MLB.com’s Joe Frisaro the scoop on his controversial style. He says he and officials have come to an understanding and developed a compromise.

“They just said they wanted me to make sure I dragged my foot and not get too elevated in the air, and make sure it’s more on a lateral plane,” Capps said. “As long as I do that, they have no problem with it. But it was very strange.”

Not to be a foot in Capps’ punch bowl, but his pitching on Monday didn’t exactly feature extensive toe-dragging. There didn‘t appear to be any toe-dragging, actually. And by launching down the mound, he does chop off a not-immeasurable distance between him and the plate. In a game where batters have fractions of a second to react to the ball, this difference can be significant.

But hey—if it isn’t an infraction, let the man live. I love a goofy pitching style as much as the next guy, and I would like nothing more than to watch game after game of Capps’ E. Honda leap-pitching.

Let’s keep baseball weird, guys.

Dan is on Twitter. He’s all for weird.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

The Washington Nationals and Boston Red Sox are underway on this lovely spring Monday at Fenway Park, and the game has effectively turned into the Mookie Betts Show.

The Red Sox outfielder notched his first SportsCenter moment of the game after snagging a high Bryce Harper shot destined to drop in into Boston’s bullpen. Betts leaped, snatched Harper’s would-be homer and held on to the ball as he hit the padded wall.

It was a huge catch by the outfielder, and Betts continues to ring up the magic at Boston’s home opener. He stole two bases on one play thanks to a botched tag at second.

Betts also blasted a three-run homer in the second.

The Red Sox lead Washington 8-5 in the bottom of the fifth.

Mookie Betts: tell your friends about him

Dan is on Twitter. Mookie gonna mook.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

Jimmy Fallon is a Yankees fan.

Sure, he grew up rooting for the New York Mets, because his dad worked for IBM and received tickets for games. He also made a rom-com about loving the Boston Red Sox and, outside the context of the film, likened the team’s victory over the Yankees in the 2004 American League Championship Series to “the U.S. hockey team beating the Russians in 1980.”

But Fallon is a Yankees fan, as noted by his hat and presence behind home plate at Yankee Stadium on Thursday night. That beloved Yankees cap of his came into play as the Tonight Show host took in his team’s 6-3 loss to the Toronto Blue Jays from the power seat section.

Reacting to a foul tip in the bottom of the seventh, Fallon jerked his head backward and lost his cap. He then rose from his seat and took a bow.

Fallon also stood up and chugged a beer after a similar foul-tip scare later in the game.

I’m starting to think Fallon may be chipped, guys—that his body is no longer under his control, and Lorne Michaels is perpetually pushing buttons marked “LoLz” and “Hijinks (Viral)” on a remote control.

Or Fallon’s just having a lot of fun sitting really close to the game, and sports allegiances don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Either/or.

Dan is on Twitter. He’s just jealous of the seats.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

The Miami Marlins spent a lot of money on their new stadium—$515 million, mostly funded by Miami-Dade County, to be specific.

It features some interesting things, like a quasi-strip club at field level, an exploding fantasy fountain and a monstrous retractable roof. 

The last of these is probably the most practical asset, allowing the franchise to showcase and avoid Florida’s notoriously finicky weather as it sees fit.

The roof is a unique and powerful tool when used properly, but the operative words there are “when used properly.” That wasn’t the case Monday afternoon, when groundskeepers at Marlins Park made the mistake of trusting God not to dump his daily tears on South Florida during the team’s season opener against the Atlanta Braves.

Matt Porter of The Palm Beach Post was on the scene prior to the cloudburst. He noted the presence of rain clouds and the stadium’s decision to shrug off said clouds, and then he watched as water began falling through the stadium’s open roof.

The rain came down as the roof slowly closed, soaking fans and proving why we can never have nice things.

The Marlins grounds crew, not exactly a NASCAR pit crew of rain-fighting efficiency, attempted to put some kind of blanket or off-brand Twister mat over home plate.

Naturally, Twitter began making fun of the Marlins immediately:

As a former longtime Florida resident, I can’t give the Marlins a pass here. There are only two certainties in Florida: death and rain. Taxes aren’t even a thing there.

With that in mind, there’s no excuse for ignoring the one phenomenon that happens every day in this swampy hootenanny south of Georgia. Rain in Florida is like winter in Westeros: It may not be present, but rest assured, it is coming.

As for the Marlins, the team says it has no idea why the roof remained open, via Barry Jackson of the Miami Herald. 

Welp!

I bet a Florida Man is to blame.

Dan is on Twitter. He misses Florida in the weirdest way.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

Conventional wisdom decrees that any time you have an opportunity to lower the possibility for violence at a sporting event, you take it.

Conversely, it would appear that new security measures around the league have made entering stadiums a longer, more tedious process for fans. 

In keeping with a 2014 MLB mandate, all 30 teams around the nation will use hand-held and/or walk-through metal detectors to screen fans attending games throughout the 2015 season. It would appear teams are following the directive to a T, and as a result, fans are experiencing even longer waits than usual over the course of this busy Opening Day. 

Some bottlenecks appear to be worse than others, as pictures of long lines caused by metal detectors surfaced on social media Monday.

Clearly, a lot of fans aren’t feeling the new security measures.

This is a tough one. On one hand, you don’t want yahoos walking in with knives, guns or metal signs forgiving Alex Rodriguez. On the other hand, you’ve got to get people in the ballpark, and there’s an increased chance of unrest and violence by mashing groups of frustrated people together and making them miss portions of the ballgame. 

We’ll leave it at this: The initiative is young, and both the fans and the teams will have to adjust accordingly to make it a livable situation. If that means fans showing up earlier and security agents resorting to less stringent hand-swiping, then that’s a compromise for consideration. 

Otherwise, show up early, and expect more than an ocular pat-down at the gate.

Dan is on Twitter. Always trust the ocular pat-down.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com