Like the real-life Family Guy chicken fight, Elvis Andrus and Adrian Beltre remain locked in an unending battle of wits and reflexes.

Specifically, Andrus really likes touching Beltre’s head, because it irritates the Texas Rangers third baseman to no end, and at this point, he’s been doing it for so long that stopping would be unnatural and wrong.

The latest installment of the Great Beltre Head Tap Wars occurred Monday night during the Rangers’ 8-2 manhandling of the Kansas City Royals. In the bottom of the fourth, Beltre knocked a two-run dinger over the right field wall to give Texas a 6-1 lead.

It marked the 399th career home run for the 36-year-old, and Beltre faced a predictable flurry of head taps from Andrus and company when he returned to the dugout.

As the sportscasters noted, it really is only a matter of time, guys.

One day it will be a bad day—a day when Beltre wakes up late, his deodorant breaks in half, and he reflexively punches Andrus in the neck when the touch of a clammy hand graces his head.

It’s a “when” situation more than an “if,” and I only hope the cameras catch every second in slow motion:

Best friends are the worst.


Dan is on Twitter. Buff the Beltre at your own risk.

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