Kuzul

Is it fair to say that all of us—baseball disciples and regular citizens alike—have heard all we care to hear about Roger Clemens?

Even if his resurfacing (one that is eerily reminiscent of the likes of Michael Meyers and Jason Voorhees) is nothing more than a publicity stunt engineered to create some interest in the moribund Houston Astros as they ride out the remainder of a truly abysmal season, it is enough already. 

Roger, please, just go away. 

As I continue to read about Clemens and listen to the myriad of reports that have somehow managed to pollute a variety of talks shows and sports blogs, I am left wondering just one thing: 

Is this guy for real? 

What’s all the fuss? Why should anyone give Roger Clemens and his latest comeback any attention at all? What has he done to warrant any fanfare or reverence—or even a second thought? 

Did anyone even like this guy two comebacks ago? 

What about after his ridiculous appearance on 60 Minutes? 

If there were any amorous feelings lingering in even the most ardent Rocket supporters, the Mitchell Report should have certainly taken care of that. Whether he was convicted or not for the alleged use of steroids, I believe the American public is enlightened enough to know the truth.

Yes, it was O.J.’s glove, and President Clinton did have “sexual relations” with that woman.

Enough said. 

As to the veracity of the claim that Clemens’ arm is still live, viable and major league material, who cares? It could not be any more immaterial. If Clemens took the mound and threw with Stephen Strasburg’s velocity and Clayton Kershaw’s precision, I would still rather watch soccer.  

Isn’t there enough excitement this year in Major League Baseball with the emergence of prodigies Bryce Harper and Mike Trout? Hasn’t the overachieving performance of  teams such as the Oakland Athletics and Pittsburgh Pirates provided enough compelling drama? 

And what about Major League Baseball’s new playoff format, featuring two do-or-die games involving four wild-card teams? Isn’t the excitement and uncertainty engendered by this interesting wrinkle enough to keep us interested? 

I could understand the distraction if we were talking about Roger Staubach or Roger Daltrey. Heck, even Roger Rabbit would make for a better story.

But this is Roger Clemens, folks. You remember him.

He’s the charming Texan who, in the midst of the World Baseball Classic, told the racist “joke” about dry cleaners to describe a game between Japan and Korea. He’s the same charmer who during an interleague game against the New York Mets fired the barrel of a broken bat at Mike Piazza, claiming later that he “thought it was the ball.”

And let us not forget about the sordid relationship Clemens allegedly had with 15-year-old Mindy McCready, a country singer whom he met at a karaoke bar. 

Heard enough?   

Major League Baseball and its legion of followers would be wise to simply ignore Clemens and his unflagging  narcissism. Coverage of this alleged comeback is something better-suited for an episode of Celebrity Rehab. 

This Rocket’s red glare is one steeped in controversy and perpetual ignominy. And it’s still leaking fuel. 

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Tickets to see Roger Clemens pitch will cost you hundreds. 

No, these prices are not to see Clemens in the 1990s, or even Clemens in the early-aughts. That’s the cost of seeing a 50-year-old former baseball player throw against some scrubs. 

Rick Chandler of Off the Bench spotted some disturbing prices in regards to this Saturday’s Sugar Land Skeeters’ game, the contest that will feature Clemens back on the bump. 

As you can see from this eBay listing for the game against the Bridgeport Bluefish, there is a good amount of Grassland and Standing Room Only tickets, for exorbitant fees that is. 

As you can see, you are not without some choices. You can plunk down $100 on some general admission seats, or pay in the upwards of 500-600 bucks to get real up and close to an old man throwing a baseball. 

ESPN’s Darren Rovell has this news via Twitter that the prices are not just relegated to eBay.

$9 Standing Room Only tickets sold by the Sugarland Skeeters to Saturday’s Roger Clemens start now going for $75 to $100 on StubHub.

— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) August 21, 2012

All of this for a pitcher who was great…once. It would be cheaper to head to Las Vegas and see Pete Rose in a chair signing autographs, and slightly more exciting. 

Here is a video of Clemens throwing off a mound recently. 

Wow, he throws straight.

Excuse me while I lose my mind over a man who should be off golfing but is instead holding onto the last vestiges of a controversial career. 

I tell you what you do. Take a few bills from the bank account, burn them, and then go watch footage of Jamie Moyer warming up. 

It will save you a trip to Texas. 

Follow me on Twitter for more money-saving advice. 

Follow @gabezal

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The Houston Astros have confirmed watching Roger Clemens‘ throwing session on Monday, according to Zachary Levine of the Houston Chronicle.

Levine tweeted on Monday:

Astros owner Jim Crane verifies team saw Clemens throw. No plans to bring him back now. Would want to check with MLB first if they ever do.

— Zachary Levine (@zacharylevine) August 20, 2012

Levine noted on Monday that a source told him that Astros scouting director Mike Elias took a look at Clemens before the 11-time All-Star signed with the independent Sugar Land Skeeters.

There is a possibility that Clemens returns to the big leagues in an Astros jersey. Former Astros club president Tal Smith is now a consultant with the Skeeters.

There may also be a hidden motive for Clemens to return to Major League Baseball. Clemens was named in the Mitchell Report for using steroids and HGH. He was acquitted of all charges brought forth by the Justice Department on June 18, but there still is the question whether he will be named to the Hall of Fame.

As Ken Rosenthal of FoxSports.com reports, Clemens’ first year of Hall of Fame eligibility is currently 2013. By pitching this season, he could push his first year of eligibility back another five years. That could give him a better chance of being inducted after all the dust settles around Barry Bonds and other alleged cheaters.

Clemens, 50, has a career ERA of 3.12 with 4,672 strikeouts to his name (third all time behind Nolan Ryan and Randy Johnson). The two-time World Series champion also has 354 career wins, ninth all time.

From 2004 to 2006, Clemens pitched for the Astros. His ERA was less than 3.00 in each of his three seasons with the team.

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Is it weird that I imagine Roger Clemens walking into the clubhouse of his new team screaming “Don’t call it a comeback”? Well that’s exactly what I do because I believe it’s only right and just to make fun of such an absurd, ridiculous situation.

Just when we thought we were done dealing with retirement drama from athletes—with Brett Favre officially retiring for the 45th and final time in 2011—Roger Clemens, at the age of 50, has decided that it is a great idea to get out of retirement and sign with the Sugar Land Skeeters of the Atlantic League, as Kristie Rieken of The Associated Press reports.

Even better, he signed with Sugar Land two months and a day after being acquitted on a perjury charge for lying in front of Congress about his steroid use.

I know Roger Clemens isn’t the first baseball player to play professional baseball WAY past his prime, and with a fastball at 87 mph he is throwing about twice as fast as Jamie Moyer was before he was cut, but one has to expect that there are some ulterior motives behind this move.

What, exactly, is he trying to accomplish by signing with the Skeeters?

Is he just going out there in order to compete and enjoy himself, or does he have greater goals in mind? Is he honestly trying to get back to playing at a major league level at the age of 50?

Whatever his reasoning may be, there is obviously something fishy going on here.

There is a suspicion that Roger Clemens is trying to reach the majors where he would probably pitch for the lowly Houston Astros. He would use this appearance as a way to push back his eligibility for the Hall of Fame five years and eventually hope the baseball writers change their minds about him, which doesn’t seem likely as of right now.

The Astros, who are in dire need of good news after this horrendous season, might be making a terrible mistake if they are even remotely considering this option.

I understand Houston might want more fans in the stands, but they really don’t need any more bad publicity like what would come from a stunt like this.

This latest move by Clemens has put him in a class by himself.

While Brett Favre is a selfish, narcissistic athlete, Clemens is not only that, but he’s also probably a cheater as well.

Clemens brings a lot of baggage with regard to his past connections with steroid use. He carries this baggage wherever he goes, and especially when he is connected to a professional ball club. To make matters worse, this baggage has gotten even heavier with his much publicized court hearing despite the acquittal.

In the minds of the fans and the writers who vote for the Hall of Fame, Clemens is guilty of knowingly using steroids, despite what he says or does. This still might not discourage a desperate major league team enough from possibly giving him a shot.

For everyone’s sake I hope he never makes it back to the majors because the media coverage surrounding that would be so extensive that even Brett Favre would think it’s over the top.

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The Roger Clemens trial is over. The ripple effect of the verdict will be felt for a long time and will become relevant in January.

Roger Clemens was found not guilty of perjury the other day. He was not found not guilty of taking steroids or HGH or anything else that his friends, wife and trainer all admit to using or selling. The fact that everyone excluding his dog all took the stuff is clearly a coincidence and does not involve the alpha male of the group whose body changed.

So now writers are wringing their hands, talking about the legal questions and the loss of our innocence. The most common headline claimed the trial had no winner.

Nonsense. The real winner was Jack Morris. That’s right, the former Tigers ace and one time contemporary of Clemens will be the beneficiary of the whole Clemens mess.

Morris will be on his 14th Hall of Fame ballot this offseason. He has just two more chances to be elected into Cooperstown. And not since Clemens’ former teammate Jim Rice has there been a more polarizing candidate.

His supporters point to the fact that he won more games in the 1980s than any other pitcher and he came up big in big games. He threw a no-hitter, was the World Series MVP in 1991 and had a 10 inning game seven shutout that year that clinched the title.

His detractors point out that he was never the best pitcher in any one year. He may have compiled wins over the decade, but was never a dominating pitcher like Dwight Gooden, Fernando Valenzuela, Dave Stewart, Orel Hershiser or Frank Viola. He never was even the Cy Young runner-up. His ERA was too high and new stats point out that he may not have been as good as he seemed to be.

But as far as anyone knows, Jack Morris was clean. And even those who do not support his Hall of Fame candidacy admit that he was a tough competitor who played the game the right way.

In the last Hall of Fame election, Morris got 66.7 percent of the vote, just shy of the 75 percent needed for induction.

This offseason, the Cooperstown ballot from hell will be distributed. Sammy Sosa will be on it for the first time. Returning candidates like Mark McGwire and Rafael Palmeiro are back.

And, fairly or not, sluggers like the returning Jeff Bagwell and the new arrival Mike Piazza will have their power numbers scrutinized strongly.

But the biggest new names will be Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens. Both would normally be no-brainers. But there is no way either will get in on the first ballot.

Craig Biggio and his 3,060 hits will likely get voted in on the first try. And Piazza will probably join him. But the other spots on the ballot might have room for a protest vote.

The final 8.3 percent of the vote that Jack Morris needs to become a Hall of Famer could come from writers fed up with Roger Clemens.

Benefiting from someone else’s resentment may be a strange way to achieve immortality. But at this point, Jack Morris will no doubt accept it.

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The Rocket launched another unbelievable shutout Monday, leaving federal prosecutors holding their bats in disbelief at the end of a costly, drawn-out perjury trial.

A day after the verdict, the consensus is that Clemens’ acquittal doesn’t mean he’s innocent, but rather that the jury was unconvinced of his guilt beyond a reasonable doubt.

That is certainly one possibility.

The other is that the jury went O.J. on prosecutors and ignored the evidence at hand. 

This is a case, if not an air-tight case, where jury nullification may have played a role for some jurors.

When Clemens walked out of a a federal courthouse acquitted on all six charges that he lied to Congress about his alleged use of performance enhancing drugs, I can’t help but feel that yet another jury told the federal government that it’s time to stop wasting time and taxpayer money policing a child’s sport played by man-children.

While the evidence against Clemens might not have been Simpsonesque, this jury, I believe, sent a message to prosecutors, to Congress, to anyone who would listen.

That message? We have bigger fish to fry, more important problems to solve.

It’s the same message that a Bay Area jury sent last April when it deadlocked on all but one count of lying to the government brought against Barry Bonds, MLB‘s career and single-season home run leader.

The Clemens jury may not have believed Brian McNamee, and they may not have believed the countless prosecution witnesses.

But maybe they also did not believe that they lost 10 weeks of their lives over a guy who is famous for throwing a a 5-oz. ball of string wrapped in cowhide for a living.

While our country continues to wage two wars, while unemployment continues to grow unchecked and while big banks and bigger investment firms continue to lie and cheat, the public’s interest in whether or not middle-aged pro athletes cheat—if there ever was interest—has waned beyond recognition.

Let this be a lesson for Congress, a clarion call to adopt a bipartisan approach the next time they think about meddling in such irrelevant minutia — just say fugghetaboutit.

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Disgusting.

Disgraceful.

Disturbing.

Disappointing.

I’m talking about the MLB network, specifically, the countdown they’ve been airing about the 40 greatest individual seasons since 1940.

Four of those seasons belonged to Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds. Bonds was ranked #1 for his 2004 season.

Well, MLB network, I’m not sure how to tell you this but, um, uh, er, well, those guys cheated.

Steroids? Human Growth Hormone? Performance enhancing drugs? Any of that sound familiar MLB network?

Apparently not.

There was no mention in the countdown that Clemens’, Sosa’s, McGwire’s and Bonds’ seasons may have been tainted.

No hint that any of their accomplishments were anything less than legitimate.

I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out why MLB network would include those players in a countdown like this. Maybe they were taking an “innocent until proven guilty” attitude.

But I think these guys have pretty much been proven guilty.

At the very least, McGwire should have been excluded, he has admitted using performance enhancing drugs.

By treating Clemens’, Sosa’s, McGwire’s and Bonds’ accomplishments as legitimate, MLB network is being disrespectful to the players who played by the rules.

Even worse, it sends the wrong message to kids.

It says to children, “If you cheat, we’ll not only look the other way, we’ll glorify your illegitimate achievements.”

Disgusting.

Disgraceful.

Disturbing.

Disappointing.

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Roger Clemens doesn’t back down. A man of principle, he fights for his rights.

Monday, Oct. 25, 1999 was a World Series travel day for the New York Yankees and Atlanta Braves.

After one of his legendary workouts, Clemens was involved in an altercation with a “gentleman” in the Yankee Stadium parking lot.

Clemens was signing autographs for fans. Magnanimous Roger, despite the fact that Steiner Sports now offers a signed Clemens baseball  for about $400, was more than happy to accommodate some of his fans.

After autographing more than one dozen items, Clemens started to leave when he heard an individual ordering him to continue signing. Clemens later said that the man hadn’t asked for his autograph and that he thought the man was simply being unruly.

”If you stand out there, you could probably see it happen 10 times a day, but I wouldn’t consider him a fan,” said Clemens. ”I don’t think he’s a Yankee fan. I was signing autographs and the guy was very violent. I think he spit.”

Clemens accused the individual of making an obscene gesture.

When he arrived at his car, the “fan” continued the verbal abuse. Clemens had had enough. He got out of his car and confronted the man. A witness said that he was as big as Clemens.

Standing nose to nose, Clemens pushed the man away.

”There was no need for it, basically,” Clemens said. ”I told him to back up from the car, and if he comes any closer, I’d consider it a threat. I pushed him away, but don’t write that he was a fan because he wasn’t a fan. Not using that kind of language and those types of threats.”

Not only did Clemens successfully defend himself. He pointed out to the media that the individual couldn’t have been a fan because fans don’t use “…that kind of language and those types of threats.”

The Clemens incident recalls a similar situation involving another New York pitching great.

The Yankees blasted Brooklyn Dodgers’ 27-game winner Don Newcombe in the second game of the 1956 World Series. A distraught Newcombe left Ebbets Field after his shower.

As he was going to his car, a parking lot attendant made a reference to Newk’s early departure. According to the attendant, Newk hauled off and hit him after he said, “What’s the matter? Things getting too tough for you?”

The parking lot attendant filed a $25,000 suit against Newcombe which was eventually dismissed.

Roger Clemens acted properly when he shoved the fan that threatened him.

He is standing up for his beliefs as he fights the felony counts involving perjury, false statements and obstruction of Congress.

Those in authority demand that those accused of violating their rules show remorse. It upsets most Americans that Clemens is not remorseful.

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Roger Clemens reared back and fired a split-fingered fast ball. Barry Bonds swung and hit one of his prodigious home runs over the right-field wall.

Clemens’s manager ran right at the home-plate umpire, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Bonds’s bat was corked. That’s illegal. Declare a misplay.”

The home-plate umpire confiscated Bonds’s bat, after which he conferred with his colleagues for almost half an hour. Then, he summoned both managers and explained that Bonds had violated the rules.

The umpire ejected Bonds, explaining that he had his chance to hit a home run using legal methods, but he failed to do so. It would be wrong to force Clemens to face Bonds again.

Bonds’s manager claimed that Bonds’s at-bat had been going well, that it was only the first inning, and that Bonds was ready for a strong performance. He should be given another chance to get Clemens.

“There was so much going on that Bonds was distracted, and he brought a bat into the game that the umpires had told him not to use. It was an honest mistake. Barry didn’t intentionally disobey the umpires’ orders.”

The above never happened, but it is similar to much more serious situation.

Yesterday, prosecutors carrying out a vendetta asked U.S. District Judge Reggie Walton to rule that Roger Clemens must face double jeopardy.

Of course, the erstwhile prosecutors didn’t quite phrase it that way.

It’s really quite simple: The prosecutors admitted for the first time that they made a critical error in Clemens’s perjury trial when they showed jurors evidence that Judge Walton had ruled inadmissible.

The disingenuous prosecutors argued that the mistake was due to the fact that other trial matters affected their concentration and was not intentional.

Yeah, I used a corked bat, but the reason was that the crowd was so noisy that I picked up the wrong one.

The government prosecutors had their chance. They were incompetent or worse. If there is any integrity left in the system (can there be degrees of integrity?), Clemens cannot be tried again.

According to the law, the key is whether the prosecutors intentionally presented evidence that they knew couldn’t be used. If they did, there cannot be a second trial.

Is it possible that the prosecutors attempted to influence the jury by suggesting that there is more going on when they presented the evidence in an attempt to bait the defense into rebutting it?

The issue of Laura Pettitte’s disallowed testimony would be brought up in open court, thus circumventing Judge Walton’s ruling.

Nah, prosecutors would never do that, would they?

The prosecutor’s filing explained that the reference to Laura Pettitte “would have been removed had government counsel adequately focused on it.”

Well, that’s too bad. The government had its chance. It messed it up. End of the story.

Wait a minute. Let’s get really conspiratorial.

Roger Clemens wasn’t forced to testify before Congress. He wanted to ensure that his legacy would be untarnished.

Is it possible that Clemens will agree to being put into double jeopardy in order to clear his name?

Did Roger Clemens ever start a game he didn’t think he’d win?

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Baseball is the great American game. How fitting it is that almost one year ago, baseball’s all-time hit leader gave advice to the pitcher many considered to be the greatest right-hander of all time?

Roger Clemens‘ trial for perjury is scheduled for July 6, 2011. Clemens is accused of lying to Congress, which is a terrible thing to do.

Of course, those who have the right connections or have an agenda that those in power must have executed can lie to Congress with impunity, as Glenn Greenwald revealed in a 2007 article (Lying to Congress).

At an autograph show, which included baseballs inscribed, “I’m sorry I bet on baseball,” Pete Rose told the media he had some simple advice for Clemens. The best thing Clemens could do is to come clean. Rose explained his position.

“I wish I had come clean the day they had called me into the [commissioner’s] office in 1989—I do, because I would’ve saved myself a lot of grief, a lot of everything. Money, you name it,” Rose said.

”The thing that was so hard for me is I had a lot of respect for the game, and I was respected for that while I was in the game. And I miss that, you know? But I messed up, I messed up!”

Rose thinks that Clemens’ competitive spirit might cause his downfall.

“When I look at Roger, I just think Roger is a competitor, and he’s got it in his craw that he’s gonna go to his grave saying he didn’t do this,” Rose said.

One of the greatest of all competitors, Rose wouldn’t acknowledge that he bet on baseball for 15 years. He finally admitted his transgression and has stated he wishes he had told the truth sooner or immediately upon being confronted.

Rose said that Andy Pettitte is the key that may decide the trial’s outcome.

He believes that Andy Pettitte would not lie, which bothers him. Pettitte testified that Clemens spoke to him about using performance enhancing substances.

Pete Rose besmirched the game. What he did is inexcusable, but there is a double standard. Just as one cannot be a little pregnant, one cannot limit the potential consequences of gambling by betting selectively on certain sports.

The Executive Vice President for Baseball Operations for Major League Baseball, Joe Torre, owns race horses.

Baseball executive and former Houston Astros general manager Gerry Hunsicker owns race horses.

The Steinbrenners, owners of the New York Yankees, Clemens favorite organization, own race horses.

Players Brad Penny, Mark Loretta, Yorvit Torrealba and manager Jim Leyland own race horses.

All agree that a major reason for being involved in horse racing is the competition, which many liken to baseball competition.

You tell me. Let’s say any one of the above bets a large amount of money on his horse and loses.

How is that not creating a situation in which an owner, a general manager or manager or a player might compromise the game?

A player who is a high stakes gambler loses $1 million in bets. Is it possible that player might seek some “sure bets” to recoup his losses?

The solution is to ban anyone associated with baseball from gambling. Owning race horses is fine, but betting on them is not. That will never happen.

Roger Clemens allegedly lied to Congress. He should be punished if it’s true, but the entire matter is debased by the fact that so many others, including exalted leaders of the country, have done what Clemens is accused of doing and were never brought up on charges.

One parting note.

Rose has done his penance, which is what those in power require. The time has come for him to be voted into the Hall of Fame.

Even if Clemens is found guilty, his career before he alleged used performance enhancing substances warrants his inclusion in the Hall of Fame.

Neither Rose nor Clemens will ever be voted into the Hall of Fame. Ask Joe Jackson’s relatives.

References:

Pete Rose Discusses Roger Clemens

Baseball and Racing Horse Owners

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