Mike Pelfrey‘s legendary speech to Wichita State may not give you goosebumps, but it will make you laugh out loud. 

MLB Fan Cave caught just one of the myriad ways that MLB players decide to prank their teammates. This time, Twins closer Glen Perkins and manager Ron Gardenhire collaborate to pull a fast one on one of their starting pitchers. 

Pelfrey walks into the skipper’s office, where it is explained that Wichita State loves to hear from celebrities and may want an inspirational speech to keep the team rolling along in the NCAA tournament. 

We were all underwhelmed on both counts

Pelfrey, being an alumnus, is the perfect man to give an impassioned speech that would make Ray Lewis envious. 

Unfortunately, his ability to knock the walls down with a booming voice and colorful language is on par with the manner in which you give out driving directions. 

The 30-year-old sounds like he is ordering pizza, leaving Gardenhire to try and get something more from his pitcher, which is kind of how their relationship normally works. 

Of course, there is no Wichita State. 

Well, there is, but the Shockers were off somewhere safe from things like, “You guys always remember how good you are and what got you there” and “so go [expletive] get ’em.”

Thanks to hidden cameras, we get to see it all play out. Still, we have to think Pelfrey should have seen this coming. 

First, who gives inspirational speeches via phone? This is only slightly worse than giving a rousing text to your alma mater. 

Second, Perkins nearly gives things away from the start. Do we really believe “Darren” from the Wichita State athletic department is going to start any conversation out with, “Hey, Gardey. How are you doing?”

It’s “Mr. Gardenhire, sir,” and don’t you forget it. 

The best part of the entire charade is the end, when Perkins offers, “We appreciate that. The funny thing is, though, we are out in the clubhouse, Mike, you Munson.”

Where do we keep getting Munson from?

Now we have a glorious video that serves two purposes. On one hand, we have a wonderful look into a loose clubhouse that knows how to laugh. If we might be so bold, we might ask the comedy troupe of Perkins and Gardey to deliver another shortly. 

On the other hand, we now know exactly how a March Madness speech from Pelfrey would go, so feel free to use this however you’d like next season, Shockers. 

Perhaps, and this may just be our undying love for baseball talking, if Pelfrey was able to give this thing before the weekend, the Shockers might still be alive and kicking in the Big Dance. 

Something tells me his words could do more than move mountains. They can absolutely decimate a clubhouse. 


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