An event signalling the decline of the Bombers occured in the Bronx last week.


No, it wasn’t the death of Mr. Steinbrenner, though some might say that may play into it.


Instead of the rudder being taken from the ship, a small but mighty hole burst the Yankees hull:


They didn’t get their man.


With the Rangers picking up Cliff Lee, one of the top picks of the trade season, the precedent has been set for the one, unimaginable thing: The New York Yankees losing out on the World Series for the next nine years.


How do I know?


You see, the fact is the New York Yankees are easily the most spoiled team on the North American continent.


Not getting something they wanted for the first time since Disco means that not only do they lose out on a needed arm in a tight AL East race, but they also have to completely change “the plan” for the remainder of the year sicne they didn’t get what they were counting on. 


What is “the plan,” you ask?


Well, “the plan” is their blueprint for winning and always has been.


It is a long, thought out, carefully devised strategy that utlizes both the minors, up and coming pitchers, and all the chewing tobacco they can muster in order to outplay the teams in their way.


Of course, you know I’m kidding because the only plan the New York Yankees follow is this:


Throw “it” at it.


The majority of the time, the “it” they throw is money. A couple million here. A few bazillion there.


Some other times though, as in the Cliff Lee case, they throw prospects, futures, or the latest shiny “the-next-big-thing” at teams in order to get what they want. Before the advent of desktop computers it worked.


Of course, if any of these teams ever actually stopped and thought to themselves “Wait, why do the Yankees want to send us the-next-big-thing when they could use that next-big-thing themselves?  Unless, he ISN’T that next-big-thing in the first place!”


Which is, of course, exactly what the Seattle Mariners did when Cliff Lee went to Texas.


This brought the rest of Major League Baseball to reality, and showed them that they don’t actually HAVE to take whatever the Yankees are offering.


Because the rest of Major League Baseball have now woken from their slumber, the next thing they’ll reject will be their money.


The Yankees without money is like a fish without gills.


The rest of MLB will realize, “Hey wait, WE can make our own money by actually winning and make our own teams better. We don’t need the Yankees’ money. We’ll make our own!”


Thus, in rejecting the Yankee greenbacks, the rest of the league will have thrown off the chains of Yankee oppression to the shouts of every baseball fan west of the Bronx.


And someone else will win. For nine years.


Why nine?


Because it only takes one team to forget that they too can make money on their own.


And a decade is a long time to remember.



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