I am mad as hell right now.

After the way Josh Beckett tried to injure three Yankees tonight, I’d almost feel better if Jacoby Ellsbury sneezes and his fractured ribs puncture his lungs.

Or maybe I’d almost feel better if Joe Girardi gave struggling Javier Vazquez a chance to boost his fortunes with the team’s fans and work on his control at the same time. Give him a surprise start to open the next game in this series and let him aim at every Red Sox head he faces until he’s tossed, thus sparing the regular starter disciplinary action.

Almost, but not quite.

Nut-less thugs like Beckett and the A’s Dallas Braden who throw at players out of frustration or anger—or threaten to—belong in a jail cell bent over a bench getting broom buggered.

Terry Francona and any Sox fan here and elsewhere who defends scrotum-less, cowardly, talentless punks like that—or simply dismiss such acts by shrugging their shoulders and saying, “Well, that’s baseball”—belong in there with them.

Just as prisoners receive a much harsher penalty than the general populace for assaulting a guard because they have nothing to lose and require a stronger deterrent, so too should there be a sterner discipline for American League pitchers who feel they can throw to injure with impunity, safe in the knowledge that they themselves will not be subject to retaliatory measures.

More so for serial offenders like Beckett who have been suspended by MLB for this type of thing before.

Compounding their arrogant and dangerous antics is the hard truth that it is always the retaliator who receives the discipline anyway. Great system for encouraging criminals to act on their impulses in the first place, isn’t it?

The Red Sox embarrassed themselves tonight on the field.

Their pitcher embarrassed all who play his position.

And in lamestream media articles and blogs across the country tonight, and especially in New England, the comments are full to overflowing with numbnuts who are embarrassing themselves by defending, making alibis, or worse, cheering for and applauding Beckett’s criminal thuggery.

You know who you are, and this message is aimed at you. Your no-class team blows and your owners pay has-beens like Beckett $65 million to throw bean balls because fans like you, who came to see a contending MLB club, have to get something for your overpriced seats in that junkyard they play in.

And lacking a contending team, this appears to be the type of alternative spectacle your manager, owner and fan base have deemed worthy of capturing your attention, and justifying your investment of time and money.

It’s clear to all that wins don’t seem to be what you’re aiming for when you’re plunking Hall-of-Famers and All-Stars with the bases loaded, and even scrappy little hot-hitting replacement catchers wearing over-sized helmets that everyone in the world knows has already been beaned and received two concussions this year.

Anyone who genuinely believes Beckett’s bean ball penchant is due to control problems is an idiot. His control is perfect when he’s aiming at swinging bats and bodies. If you believe otherwise, well, enjoy your bridge to the cellar fellas, and say hi to the O’s for us when you get there.

Your team, your manager, and your fans who, like you, applaud or attempt to justify crap like this are guilty of aiding and abetting, and you will all get your just reward in the end.

It should be jail.

In the end, though, real baseball fans will simply have to settle for watching your franchise deteriorate into another 80-year abyss of wretched futility.

For not rising up and condemning this type of abominable behavior, you’re all getting off way too easy.

For more Yankees fun, check out the musical comedy vid “Joe’s Job – The Ballad of Terry Francona” . It’s must-see entertainment for Yankees and Sox fans alike!

Go Yankees! 28 in 2010!

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