Questions like this are enough to put a man in the dirt.

In his 46 years on the air, sports radio host Bruce Drennan has fielded his share of inane and misguided questions.

He’s dealt with the weird, the mad and the ineffable, but never has he tangled with a caller as criminally misinformed as a man who recently phoned into his televised Fox Sports radio show All Bets Are Off.

Drennan nearly imploded when “Scott” from Sandusky called in to ask if Derek Jeter would possibly sign with the Cleveland Indians in 2015. Joe Kinsey of Busted Coverage spotted video of the incident, and it’s likely some viewers were afraid Drennan would drop dead on live television.

The host asked Scott to repeat his question, in case by some wild chance he had heard him incorrectly. The caller obliged.

“I was wondering what you thought of the chances of Derek Jeter—the Derek Jeter—going to the Indians.”

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Not just “Derek Jeter.” The Derek Jeter.

Drennan handled the situation the best he could, and by that, I mean he avoided seizing up and choking to death on his own tongue.

“I think you’re an idiot,” Drennan said and clicked off the call.

But what about the Derek Jeter, Mr. Drennan? A nation of savvy sports fans needs to know whether or not a 39-year-old lifetime New York Yankees legend with marble-engraved plans for retirement would possibly pull a 180 and sign a contract with the Indians in 2015.

What’s it looking like on that front, Bruce?

The answer is a resounding, “You go to hell. You go there, and you die,” from Drennan, who couldn’t even laugh at the question because it offended him so.

Things must be worse than we thought in Cleveland. The Indians make it to a wild-card series, and some fans hazard to believe they’re giving off sexy enough vibes to lure one of the best shortstops of all time to their club. Either that, or some Cleveland residents were getting a head start on April Fools’ jokes.

Mr. Kinsey (sarcastically) ponders if Jeter could be playing us all.

“Maybe Jeter would like to pretend he’s playing his last season and then laugh at everyone in the Yankees organization by signing a one-year deal with the Indians in 2015,” Kinsey writes. “That would be the ultimate heel move, right.”

Regardless, Jeter will not be headed to the Indians or the city of Cleveland any time soon.

Scratch that. Jeter could be headed to Cleveland, if only for a layover on his way to Malibu for vacation.


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