Here’s a thought: Let’s step into the (imaginary) lab, dissect some of MLB‘s biggest stars (metaphorically) and build ourselves the ultimate hitter.

Hey, it’s mid-January, otherwise known as not the best time to be a baseball fan. There’s another long, cold, soggy month until pitchers and catchers report.

Other than obsessively warming our hands by the hot stove, what can we do?

Frivolous theoretical exercises, that’s what. (You thought I was going to say be a productive member of society? Pssh.)

So, what makes a great hitter? A lot of things, naturally. For our purposes, we’ll break it down into five essential elements: batting eye, bat speed, durability, power and swing. 

Obviously there are many worthy candidates in each category. This may be the era of the pitcher, but baseball is still blessed with bushels of elite offensive talent.

In nearly every case, there was no single obvious winner, even though we restricted ourselves to current players only.

But, we think you’ll agree, these five guys would unarguably combine to make one beastly Frankenmasher.

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