These are my Penthouse Power Rankings for the first three months of the 2010 Major League Baseball season.

The numbers to the left indicate their rank in the American League. The numbers to the right of their name indicate their league ranking.


1. New York Yankees (1 ) – Currently sporting the best record in baseball and also the most guys on one team whom fans will make derogatory homosexual statements about. They have been successful without the bats of Teixeira and Rodriguez—if they get going. look for them to separate themselves from the pack.

2. Boston Red Sox (2 ) – Clearly the best team over the last couple of months. I believe their position in the power rankings will fall over the next couple of weeks with injuries they are currently facing. Lester is a Cy Young candidate.

3. Texas Rangers
(3 ) – Hamilton has been treating opposing pitchers like pimps treat their women—beating them up with no regard.  Nolan Ryan’s preseason prediction doesn’t seem so crazy anymore.

4. Tampa Bay Rays (6 ) – To say that the Rays have been slumping would be generous. Recently getting no-hit for the second time this season doesn’t exactly say World Series contender.

5. Minnesota Twins (9 ) – The pitching staff has cooled off quite a bit and Joe Mauer “Power” has been more like Mauer “Sour” this season. I believe he will get it going and the pitching staff even out a little more.

6. Chicago White Sox (11 ) – The past few weeks they have been one of the hottest teams in baseball. It was done during inter-league play (only played one team with a winning record). Unless they switch Leagues expect more .500 baseball.

7. Los Angeles Angels
(12 ) – After a poor start they have come around quite nicely. Somehow losing their best hitter by playing hop-scotch on home plate made them better. Closer Brian Fuentes scares me more than the thought of Roseanne jumping rope naked. This will bite them in the end.

8. Detroit Tigers
(14 ) – The highlight of their season will be the almost perfect game by Galarraga. Miguel Cabrera can’t carry this team alone, but if they make a move at the deadline things could get better.

9. Toronto Blue Jays (17 ) – Unfortunately, the Jays play in the AL East, which means barring a Mets-like collapse by the Yanks, Sox, and Rays, there will again be no playoff baseball in Canada. Time to focus on the CFL.

10. Oakland Athletics (19 ) – Started the year off nicely but quickly came back to reality. A few nice players on this team and as always, they will end up on other teams in the near future.

11. Seattle Mariners (22 ) – Talk about disappointing. The Mariners spend money and make a trade to set up the Griffey farewell tour and are playing like the Bad News Bears. They’ve played better of late, but to far behind to catch up.

12. Kansas City Royals
(23 ) – The Royals actually have some nice players on their team and if they played in Triple-A they might actually make the playoffs.

13. Cleveland Indians (27 ) – This looks like the team put together in the movie Major League .  You can’t win games if you can’t pitch, and the Indians are ranked in the bottom four of ERA, K’s, SV, and WHIP. To make things even worse, they can’t hit either.

14. Baltimore Orioles
(30 ) – I keep hearing from O’s fans that Dave Trembley lost the team, but there is actually a bunch of talent there. If there is, I can’t find it—worst team I’ve seen in awhile.


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