Kuzul

Pablo Sandoval is on the verge of eating his way out of baseball, and the San Francisco Giants and their Panda marketing blitz are as much to blame as Sandoval’s apparent inability to push back from the dinner table.     Regardless of whoever first came up with the “Kung Fu Panda” nickname, there is no doubt that the San Francisco Giants and their marketing machine seized upon it almost immediately to pump money into the team.  The Giants worked feverishly on converting an image of a happy-go-portly Sandoval into massive dollars in the form of ticket sales and fuzzy panda hats (available in two colors) at the ballpark.  There were MLB-licensed panda shirts and signs, and a gigantic advertisement poster of Sandoval with the tag line “There’s Panda Inside” slapped on the side of AT&T Park.  When he hit a homer, they cued not only the requisite hype-music, but also ...

The ghosts of opportunities lost can swirl and haunt in an instant, and any temptation for the San Francisco Giants or their fans to look ahead to an assumed World Series title must be stifled. As Giants fans tingle with the anticipation of a clinching opportunity tonight in Game 5 of the 2010 World Series, the demons of the 2002 World Series are on-deck and ready to swarm. These ghosts hold permanent residence in the collective memory of all Giants fans.  One need only ask if the name “Scott Spiezio” means anything to a Giants fan, and the resulting expression alone from your victim should aid in clearing up any confusion. That is, if you don't get punched first.     Unfortunately, there is no shelf life attached to the lost moments and horrible memories connected to the recent history of the San Francisco Giants and the World Series.   I can close my eyes right ...

Expect a healthy dose of torture tonight.  After last night’s offensive firestorm, where the San Francisco Giants ran up a week’s worth of runs in one game, tonight should be a nice reversion to the tense, nail-biting and familiar mean.  Cue “The Machine” and bring on the thumbscrews.  The ability of the Giants to persevere in ridiculously tight matchups, has generated a fan base mirroring the same attributes.  Fans who can maintain a pure hope for success during a one-run lead and cheer for their team just as vociferously during a two-run deficit.  This purity within the San Francisco Giants fan base is one that I hope will be maintained and one which other notable fan bases have, unfortunately, replaced with complaining, excuses and an air of expectation.    When I read the East Coast press endlessly describing the “luck” that went into the ascension of the “misfit” San Francisco Giants to the 2010 ...

Football may be more popular, but baseball will always be our national pastime.  We have only a couple hours before Tim Lincecum unleashes the first pitch of the 2010 World Series as the San Francisco Giants take on the Texas Rangers. But more than a trophy at the end of the year, The World Series is an annual show case as to why Baseball will always be America's national past time, and why, by comparison, the NFL will never challenge for that supreme title. It's not a question of team revenues, television contracts, or merchandising (where the NFL has succeeded over all others.)  No matter how many business categories you might beat the other guy at,you cannot win the emotional attachment of an American sports fan, no matter how many Tim Tebow jerseys you sell. There is a visceral, tingling essence inherent to the game of baseball that the NFL game simply lacks. ...

I love me some Timmy Jim, but I don’t want him in my house.       Before you start in about the fact that Tim Lincecum wouldn't want to come over to my dumb house in the first place, he would. It’s close to the ballpark, always has a full fridge, is smoker friendly (on deck) and he could relax on my sectional pregame. So save it—he’d want to hang out...but he can’t, because he’s covered in disgusting dog hair. I am an expert in such things, unfortunately. My girlfriend has an English Bulldog named Margaret Thatcher, who, at the very least, enjoys equal voting power in our household. When I get home, I can’t even look this animal in the eye lest she start urinating on my hardwood floors. She ripped up some Dita sunglasses once, and I almost stroked out when she annihilated my leather John Varvatos jacket last summer...that ...