Tag: Trending Topics

Nationals Fan Decides to ‘Do Something Dumb,’ Gets World Series Champs Tattoo

The 2015 MLB season hasn’t officially kicked off yet, but one fan is confident that his tattoo will be valid in October of 2015 and beyond. 

According to The Washington Post‘s Scott Allen, 29-year-old Pete Johnson, a lawyer in the D.C. area, opened the door to a local tattoo parlor and said, “Why don’t we do something dumb?” before getting a Washington Nationals World Series Champs 2015 tattoo in his own handwriting on top of his foot. 

This certainly isn’t the first pre-emptive champions tattoo we’ve seen fans get, and it likely won’t be the last. And even though Johnson was admittedly doing “something dumb,” at least it’s just on his foot. 

[The Washington Post, h/t Next Impulse Sports]

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Randy Johnson’s Photography Logo Pays Tribute to the Bird He Hit with Pitch

After seeing the logo for his photography company, the Big Unit needs to find a way to include his infamous bird friend on his Hall of Fame plaque.

Former MLB pitcher Randy Johnson is expected to be voted into Cooperstown on Tuesday. On the morning of the day in which the results of the voting are announced, Yahoo Sports’ Jeff Passan came up with a great find.

Of course, Johnson’s logo pays tribute to the bird he hit with a pitch during a spring training game back in 2001.


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Fan Breaks News of A.J. Pierzynski Signing at HoneyBaked Ham

As informed and quick as national reporters are, some fans are able to randomly break news first—thanks to bizarre luck and a sweet location.

Take the case of veteran catcher A.J. Pierzynski’s recent signing, for example.

On Wednesday afternoon, MLB.com’s Mark Bowman reported that the Atlanta Braves had reached an agreement on a one-year deal with Pierzynski:

Nothing weird there.

However, when Bowman gave credit to the person who got the scoop, this story got interesting:

Check out how Aaron Lunsford found out about Pierzynski agreeing to a deal with the Braves: 

And the story just gets better:

Lunsford was able to have some fun with the situation after being credited by many reporters:

In a time in which some young people throw out random rumors on social media in an attempt to be the first person to break news, it’s nice to see an unknown receive legitimate recognition for his scoop—however and wherever he got it.


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Adam Wainwright Forgives Broncos’ Julius Thomas for Ruining His Fantasy Playoffs

It’s that time of the year, folks.

No, not the holidays. I’m talking about the fantasy football playoffs, where a single move can make the difference between winning and losing.

Adam Wainwright knows this all too well.

The St. Louis Cardinals ace started Broncos tight end Julius Thomas, who did not play a snap in Denver’s 24-17 win over the Buffalo Bills Sunday.

Wainwright, obviously, wasn’t too pleased.

“Who in the world would say they’re going to play, and not?” he asked.

However, the All-Star pitcher realized that he did the same thing to fantasy baseball owners on his final scheduled regular-season start of 2014.

All is forgiven, Julius.

[YouTube, h/t Next Impulse Sports]

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Whatever You Do, Don’t Touch Adrian Beltre’s Head!

Why are we here? Is man the product of chance or creation? Where do we go after we shuffle off this mortal coil?

These are all important questions, but today our aim is to discuss a greater quandary in the pantheon of intellectual discourse: Why does Adrian Beltre freak out when you touch his head?

For the uninitiated, over the last 15 years and longer, Beltre has exhibited a deeply entrenched fear of people touching his head. He hates it. Can’t stand it for a second.

It’s a strange side story for the Texas Rangers third baseman, whose career accomplishments include three Silver Slugger Awards, four Gold Gloves, four All-Star selections and over 2,500 hits. He’s a potential Hall of Famer and a respected veteran in the game, but after all this time, people still mess with him due to his gross overreaction to cranial contact.

Before we get into particulars of “why” Beltre is how he is, we must observe his habits. How does it happen?

For starters, the majority of Beltre-bothering comes from his own teammates.

Detroit Tigers designated hitter Victor Martinez personally made Beltre’s life a living hell during their time with the Boston Red Sox.

How much did Martinez bother his teammate? Enough to make murder a semi-viable solution in Beltre’s mind.

“Sometimes I thought about killing him,” Beltre joked with MLB.com’s T.R. Sullivan. “But I thought about it. … I have a family, so I didn’t.”

Martinez didn’t start the tradition, though, as Sullivan reports:

Beltre said the head-rubbing began during his time in Seattle. Again, he won’t reveal who was the first guy to do it.

“It was my fault,” Beltre said. “I don’t remember, but somebody did it and I told them I didn’t like it. That’s like telling them to do it again. You know they’re going to do it because you don’t like it. So they started doing it over and over again.”

Now, Elvis Andrus has taken Martinez’s place as the ringleader. He has Beltre’s buttons on speed dial.

After that come the concerted, team-wide assaults on Beltre. Any time he belts a homer, his head is in for a genie lamp-style rubdown.

Then there are the not-so-sneaky sneak attacks.

It must be noted that the Rangers’ petting of their third baseman paints too narrow a picture of Beltre’s condition. He’s been around the league a long while—long enough to make friends who feel completely justified in picking at his scalp like a loose scab.

Robinson Cano favors bulk attempts over stealth.

Miguel Cabrera prefers to woo Beltre with flattery before making his intentions known.

Even mascots get in on the trolling.

At some point in life, Beltre’s aversion began to manifest itself physiologically. His paranoia has granted him the neck reflexes of a pit viper. Watch as he goes into Bullet Time to avoid a swipe from Cano.

Now, let’s see all these moving parts together. It’s time to take a look at a montage of Beltre’s tormentors and try to piece this phenomenon together, Carrie from Homeland style.

This is an epidemic, and there certainly appears to be no end in sight. Beltre’s aversion to head-patting has reached such fame that one crafty individual took it upon himself or herself to give it a theme song.

All Beltre does is wince—but why?

Why does the merest graze of his head elicit this response? The media has yet to be able to dig the answer out of Beltre, and it’s not for lack of trying.

SB Nation’s Amy K. Nelson traveled to the 2012 All-Star Game for the sole purpose of getting to the bottom of Beltre’s heady hangup. In the gentlest way possible, she tried to get Beltre to open up on the subject.

He barely budged.

“I don’t like it,” Beltre told Nelson. “I don’t let anyone touch my head. Not even my kids.”

His teammates at every franchise admit they’ve tried to psychologically profile Beltre, but to no avail.

At this juncture, I’d like to step in and postulate a few theories as to the roots of Adrian Beltre’s head-touching fear.


No. 1: He’s terrified of balding.

At 35 years old, Beltre is under attack from the reaper known as male pattern balding. This is prime molting season for men his age, and any interference with his scalp could disrupt the Rogaine he applied before heading to the ballpark.


No. 2: He’s a germaphobe.

Plenty of people can’t stand being touched by strangers, and it would be no large surprise if Beltre is afraid of catching whooping cough from an errant head rub.


No. 3: He was abducted by aliens.

The most plausible answer to all of this is rooted in the distinct possibility that Beltre was the victim of an alien abduction at some point in his life.

It’s likely that he was taken long ago—perhaps as a child—and whisked away into a spaceship for testing. Naturally, the extraterrestrials would’ve dug around in his head with sophisticated instruments (I find “probes” derogatory), neuralized his memory and dropped him off none the worse for the wear—save for an acute and persistent fear of people tinkering with his skull.

These are my theories, and I stand by them.

The sad part is, we may never know the cause of this strange phobia. Beltre’s refusal to speak on his discomfort has stonewalled progress in the field of study for years.

Feel free to lay out your own explanations in the comments. Every idea—even the weirdest—could help us crack the hair-trigger lock on Adrian “Don’t Touch Me Bro” Beltre’s head.


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World Series Game 2: Texas Rangers Report Card vs. San Francisco Giants

Apparently the pitchers duel that everyone was expecting to occur Wednesday night caught a late flight to San Francisco and arrived Thursday evening. With Tim Lincecum and Cliff Lee facing off in Game 1, no one could have predicted the 11-7 slug-fest that took place in the World Series opener.

In Game 2, the Texas Rangers and San Francisco Giants sent their secondary aces to the hill to hopefully do the job that neither of their respective No. 1 pitchers could accomplish. With C.J. Wilson of the Rangers and Matt Cain of the Giants taking the hill Thursday evening, the promise of a superbly-pitched game was well within reach.

Through six innings, that scenario unfolded beautifully as each starter had his best stuff working and had command of all his pitches. Cain had the upper-hand, as he continued his amazing run of scoreless postseason innings, extending it to 21.1 innings. However, Wilson nearly matched his effectiveness through six, until he was forced by a blister on his finger to turn the 2-0 game over to the Texas bullpen.

That’s when things began to get interesting—primarily if you’re a Giants’ fan. Texas’ bullpen, normally highly effective, imploded in spectacular fashion, helping the Giants to an eventual  9-0 victory in front of an ecstatic home crowd in AT&T Park.

The Rangers were comprehensively shut down by Matt Cain and two San Francisco relievers with barely a whimper. For a team that was only shut out five times all year, Texas was stifled all game by a dominant Giants’ pitching performance.

San Francisco continued its trend of finding a different unlikely hero each night, as tonight Edgar Renteria and Juan Uribe led the way with both their bats and gloves. New-found folk hero Cody Ross had another great game as he continued to ride his hot streak following his NLCS MVP performance. Technically, the Rangers’ bullpen played a massive role in the Giants success as well, gifting several runs to their NL foes to put the once-close game out of reach.

Join me as we examine the key facets of Texas’ game and find out where it all went wrong for the visiting Rangers in World Series Game 2.   

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