No it’s not Jeter, Rivera or Pettitte and as far as I know Cliff Lee has never been a Yankee so who could it be?

As I type with complete and utter nausea, the player is Sergio Mitre.

No, this is not a joke, as the Yankees have signed Mitre for another year at $900,000 to bring his talents back to the Bronx.

What talents convinced the Yankees to make this decision?

Please, someone let me know ASAP.

This has skipper Joe Girardi’s name written all over it because we know he loves players from his Florida Marlins days in 2006.

Do you remember whose brilliant idea it was to pay Nick Johnson over bringing back the World Series MVP Hideki Matsui?

Well, it was Girardi as Johnson was on the 2004 Marlins too.

GM Brian Cashman and Hal Steinbrenner are doing a great job so far.

Signing Mitre totally solves all the problems on the mound because Mitre has been so good in the past.

Mitre has a career record of 13-29, with a 5.27 ERA over seven seasons. Stellar record, but he also is injured a lot and struggles in big jams on the mound.

Mitre gives Yankee fans shivers, the same way Kyle Farnsworth used too.

What’s next? Announcing that Mitre is going to play shortstop too?

Sorry, but this was one player I was hoping to not see in pinstripes ever again.

Well, I guess Mitre can just hog a roaster spot again for 2011.

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