The 2016 Major League Baseball season is nigh, so it’s time to offer some predictions to the baseball gods.

We need to get them in before Sunday, when Opening Day will arrive in the form of a tripleheader highlighted by a World Series rematch between the New York Mets and Kansas City Royals. And when it comes to predictions for a new season, we dare not skimp the baseball gods.

We have predictions for pretty much everything. We’ll hit on who the best players will be. We’ll hit on who the best teams will be. We’ll hit on which players will be traded. We’ll hit on which team will disappoint. And so on and so on until we have a clear picture of how the 2016 season will play out.

Spoiler: We’re not going to be right about everything. The baseball gods demand predictions not so they can grant wishes but because doomed predictions are their nectar. They’re jerks like that.

Anyway, better get to it…

Begin Slideshow