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Phillies Are a Box of Chocolates: You Never Know What You Will Get

Remember Forrest Gump?  If he wasn’t fictional, he would have a blast watching the Phillies. We are, “like a box of chocolates—you never know what you’re gonna get.” And that is the way it goes for Phillies fans.

Last night, Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, Blanton, delivered in innings two through five.  As expected he did not perform in the first or the sixth (Uncle Charlie, why did you not pull him after the fifth?) He allowed four runs on eight hits and four walk.

That was my clue to exit the room to save the game. I often write about my nerves and superstition. If I walk away—we pull it out. Even my husband, a PhD in Statistics, and totally rational, cannot explain how I do this—but it works.  I do, however, keep an ear on the game.

We were down nine to two in the eighth.  We were actually luck because after Blanton loaded the bases, Durbin got us out of the sixth. Unfortunately his seventh was not a picnic. 

We found our bats somewhere in the eighth.  Finding our bats when we have good pitching and getting the pitching to work when we have our bats seems to be a problem.  Fortunately something clicked it the Phillies’ collective brains and the Dodgers imploded at the same time.  I began to hear the cheering coming from the TV. 

What happened next is the Phillies hit their way to a 10-9 win thanks to a walk off double by Carlos Ruiz! I guess you could say I got the save, “LOL!”

This three game series was indeed a box of chocolates.  We saw the home debut of Roy Oswalt and  the first home run of Domonic Brown’s promising career.  Kyle Kendrick managed to pitch only three-and-a-third innings and proved to be a split personality pitcher.  Game one was a home run derby that we lost and game two was a shut out.  Game three was like a Hail Mary. 

We took two of three games but need to do better (waiting the return of Victorino, Howard and Utley) to win the division or the wild card.  The series with the Giants will be interesting (I miss Bobble-head Bonds and the screaming insults).  As one of my customers said yesterday, “It’s a great time to be a Phillies fan!”


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Welcome Roy Oswalt: You’re Not In Texas Anymore!

I feel obligated to snap this off tonight.  The Tex Mex Phillies aka Astros are a much different team and Roy Oswalt deserves some advice upon his arrival.  Considering Houston is like our second home I would like to help him adjust once he gets to Philly (he pitches tomorrow night at the Nats for anyone who has been asleep).

Big Texas Howdy, Roy!  I hope this helps you as much as you will help us on our quest to the World Series!

  • There is no Original Momma Nifa’s or anything quite like it anywhere in the area (and I mean it).
  • There is no Luling City or Goodes BBQ and BBQ in Philly is hickory or mesquite, no walnut and apple wood unless you search.
  • We do not go to the beach, we go down the shore.  Our water is more grey than blue-green.
  • Our stadium has no cover so be prepared to play no matter what.  Fire works look better here than at Minute Maid Park.
  • Philly fans love to love you and will not hesitate to hate you.  Houston fans just love having you and a baseball team in town.
  • Get a cheese steak anywhere.  Texadelphia is not a real cheese steak place despite what Houstonians think.  
  • Eat some real Italian food in South Philly
  • Take a ride to the Poconos –  America is not flat, just Texas.
  • Learn to deal with the Mets fans who invade our stadium like mad, crazy bees.  They can be a distraction.
  • Finally, ignore the boo’s.  We love having you here – we are just lacking that southern warmth.  we will make up for it in spirit.

The City of Brotherly Love guarantees you a parade you won’t soon forget when we win the World Series.


Advice to J A Happ –  everything above in reverse!  See you in Houston!


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Domonic Brown: Razzle Me, Dazzle Me!

First of all—to those of you who, like me, spell his name Dominic, we are wrong!  I stand corrected and wish his parents took spelling lessons, seriously!

Now to the new Phillies superstar, hopefully!  A shot in the arm was needed and Victorino provided us one by getting injured. 

Enter Domonic Brown! 

The anticipation this season has been unreal.  We were clinging to hope that this kid was the answer to losing Cliff Lee, Drabek and assorted other problems.

Well, he sure Razzle Dazzled me last night.  What a first inning!  Willie Mays took about 22 innings to get his mojo going.  This kid was rough and ready.  He caught a fly ball, hit in a run with a double, and then scored.  Not exactly shabby.   He earned the standing O he got when he came on the field.

The other star (no razzle dazzle here, just great pitching) is the consistently fantastic Roy Halladay, who had the bats to back him up last night.  He broke Tommy Greene’s record for most consecutive innings without a run at home and almost kept it going til a score in the ninth by the Rockies.  He managed to hit a nice single, but was left stranded. 

Ryan Howard cold again—nothing, zip, zilch.  Here I am staring at an autographed Jersey, ball, bat, and two framed photos waiting for the long hot street to make him marketable.  Come on, do something!

Talk shows are all about the trade with the Astros.  Having been attending their games in Houston regularly, it will feel like old home week.  We seem to trade players back and forth. 

Oswalt will involve a three-way or four way deal—almost sounds like a bad Saturday night at the bar.  He certainly deserves a shot in a major market and Phillies need pitching (Cliff Lee, hello?).  Besides, they have Brett Myers who is doing well, so payback time!

I have to say the I felt like last night’s game was the beginning of something magical.  The spark was back, ignited by Domonic (spelling people, please) Brown.  I was immersed in the game for the first time in quite a while.  I decided that listening was enough and America’s Got Talent was far more interesting.

Last night the show was Philadelphia’s Got Talent.  We had the wow factor, the IT factor, the razzle dazzle, and the entire team (with the exception of Howard) found their mojo.  A star was born last night and the Phillies officially can begin a quest for the NL league title again.  No turning back now!

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Phillies v.s. Cardinals: Who Is the Real ‘Poo Hole?’

In our home we have a standing joke: whenever Pujols is up to bat someone yells “Poo Holes!”

It is not because we dislike the man (we love him when he is not playing the Phillies!) I pay homage to him at JJ Elephant Sports Café with a huge photo framed and mounted in the customer restroom–over the WC.

What’s in a name? The mispronounced Pujols, local Phillies fans have no idea who the photo is because they cannot pronounce the “J” in his name, hence “Poo-Holes”. A star by any other name is still a star and that is what Pujols has proven game after game. I would love seeing Pujols in a Phillies uniform!

In last night’s game, Kyle Kendrick was the real “Poo Hole!” Too many times I have seen him pitch and blow it (almost every game I attend, he is the pitcher and loses). He seemed to get some mojo going this season, even pitching a complete game, then back to the old Kendrick.

Mind you, Blanton is up for a “Poo Hole” award as well.

The Phil’s Kendrick was a “homerun manchine last night”, to quote a friend.  The stats below say it all.  Even sadder was that we had our bats last night!  Where are they when Halladay pitches?

Regardless of the spin that Charlie puts on the Phillies season thus far, in my humble opinion, we have  inconsistent pitching and hitting.  Everyone but Utley and Happ are off the injured disabled list and we are still not finding our sweet spot.  When we have the pitching we do not have the bats and vice versa.

Winning teams must have a level of consistency. The Phillies have shown less than none.  Charlie is a players manager and very patient–that is what makes the players love him and me, no so much this year.

It is time to man up Uncle Charlie and take some of these guys behind the woodshed for a little “talking to!” We have a great deal of under performing talent this year. 

I hate to say it and I hope I am wrong, but this year the fightin’s are playing like the fallin’s I can hope, pray and root for the home team but I am not feeling the love. 

I long for the day when someone in the house yells “Poo Holes” and it is for a Phillie named Pujols.  This old lady’s dream is having Halladay and Lee pitching with Utley, Howard and Pujols batting.

Guess it is time to pray to the gods of baseball?


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
PHI 3 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 4 13 0
STL 1 1 0 0 5 1 0 0 8 8



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Dutch Daulton At JJ Elephant: Phillies AM Flyers PM …What a Day!

Sunday was just weird and frankly after not watching  much but listening to the Flyers game (my ESP telling me we would lose, drat) following a day outside with Darren Daulton with kids learning the art of batting , as well as customers all starry eyed because they met him and talked some sports (including Flyers), I was beat. This blog is now 18 hours late!

Darren “Dutch” Daulton  –  what a mensch (look it up if you have no idea what it means).  He worked with all the children and they loved it.  There were three kids who were particularly talented and he was wonderful with them. It was his patience with the others who love the sport but need work that was amazing.

Parents were catchers and fielders, enjoying the experience with their kids.  Balls were broken in half and quarters, landing in trees and bushes. Talk about passion for the sport! Jeff (our cancer survivor) pitched for an hour with the biggest grin on his face.  Dutch signed one of the balls he used with a special inscription and told him he had a good arm.  He also told him he could give the “Old Man” a run for his money if he were 10 years younger. Sure he could!

Yesterday was about passion for all sports. All the Phillies and Flyers were discussed.  We Philadelphians are all about our teams and favorite players!

Parents, kids and fans crowded around Dutch, applauding him as he entered the café.  He in turn treated each of them with gratitude and humility, a rare quality today. I cannot say enough good things about the day and about Darren Daulton.  Go to Facebook JJ Elephant Fan Page to see all the photos.

The visit to JJ Elephant made every one of us fans of Daulton and the game.  Wouldn’t it be grand if instead of sitting at a bar with kids for hours or waiting in line at the mall  for an athlete to sign something in 3 seconds, kids had a chance to play a sport and learn from an athlete? 

I am hoping more athletes follow Dutch and come to meet and greet customers, work with kids and have a real (non alcoholic) lunch sitting and chatting with people.

Now the switch.  At 2 pm I quickly took off my Phillies’ jersey and switched to my Flyers Giroux tee shit and Stanley Cup playoff hat. 

I predicted the Flyers in 7 but was told it must be six.  I had that “eeky” feeling so I  worked on editing Dutch photos rather than watch the blowout.  I did actually break down and watch moments here and there. Since I was exhausted and knew the outcome, why expend the energy cheering for the(measly) four goals? I clapped though. 

The Chicago Machine fought dirty – we needed the Flyers to be the Broad Street Bullies of old.  I am still puzzled as to why they pulled the goalie so early. Isn’t that damn Amstel Light song they do after each goal annoying?  I will never pick up that beer again as long as I live.

The refs missed some penalties on Chicago and there was the home ice advantage.  Flyers played a much cleaner series thus far and overcame more odds to get to the Cup finals.  The buzz is that they will win at home and still win in Chicago.

Niemi was truly amazing so despite my bias, kudos to him.  Leighton was pulled but it seemed there was little defense helping the goalies during the game.

Flyers are a team that seems destined to win, but who knows?  I will wear my orange and black and pray to the hockey god (s) for the win on Wednesday at home.  They cannot lose the most important game of the series!  Guess that means no TV for me (my gift to the Flyers).

Now to stop the Chicago Machine…

Shoot——————————–>Score   Go Flyers!



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