Kuzul

It’s that time of week again—MLB awesome rankings. The Rangers are still sliding, the Rockies are still surging. Albert Pujols has decided to care again and the Indians and Royals are still battling it out. I can’t wait for September when this stuff gets worked out. Here we go:

1. Colorado Rockies (13-5): Is it too early to say “I told you so?” Our pick to win it all has the best record in baseball and the best player right now, Troy Tulowitzki. Ok, it is too early, but they are playing well. Just ask the Red Sox how important a good start is.

2. Cleveland Indians (13-6): Moving up fast. This team is coming out of nowhere. Shin Soo Choo is one of the most underrated players in the league. Grady Sizemore is back, and Indian fans hope he can keep it up.

3. Philadelphia Phillies (12-6): Yada yada yada. Only 6-4 in their last 10, but the Phillies will be near the top all season. It’s science.

4. Kansas City Royals (12-7): Yeah, I did it. The Royals are still on the list! The Royals are still on the list! I can barely name three Royals starters, and yet they are looking good early. Good series against the Indians.

5. LA Angels of Anaheim (12-7): Just got done beating the defending AL champ Rangers at home. I am really surprised by this team, although I do think the Rangers take off in the long run. Jared Weaver just struck me out.

6. Texas Rangers (11-7): The “Josh-Pocalypse” is upon us. Only 4-6 in their last 10 games, the Rangers have an important series with the Royals starting Friday.

7. Florida Marlins (11-6): I pretty much have the entire Marlins outfield on my fantasy team. Not sure why, but Logan Morrison has been a stud—too bad he is on the DL for a bit. Josh Johnson is a quiet stud as well.

8. New York Yankees (10-6): The Yankees are the Yankees. They will continue to be on this list, much like the Phillies. It will be interesting to see if this rotation can keep it together throughout the summer.

9. San Francisco Giants (10-8): Just two games above .500 but the Giants are the defending champs. This pitching staff still knows how to pitch, and Lincecum is their leader. They will push the Rockies.

10. Cincinnati Reds (10-9): Pretty far drop for the Reds from last week. They have a good team, but the Central division is going to be tough.

Bottom Four:
Seattle Mariners: Again, they might be getting rid of King Felix.
New York Mets: The worst team in baseball—Yayyy!
Boston Red Sox: After one more week, they won’t be here—they will jump.
Minnesota Twins: Ouch. Joe Mauer gone hurts. Oh, and I promised some fans I wouldn’t put Houston here.

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Well, isn’t it amazing what one week will do?

Since our last rankings, the Rangers have lost three games and their top slugger. The Indians went on a win streak, and Troy Tulowitzki is working on the early-season MVP award.

Here is the second version of the awesome rankings:

1. Colorado Rockies (10-2)

Last week’s No. 4 awesome team has been on a tear of late. Troy Tulowitzki is batting .364 with seven homers and 14 RBI, making an early case for MVP. Yeah, I know it’s early. Oh, and just wait until Carlos Gonzalez gets going.

2. Philadelphia Phillies (9-3)

This pitching staff is doing what everyone thought they would do—pitch well. Two complete games in a row help out the relief crew, and the bats keep hitting. Chase Utley will be back this year, which makes this team even more scary.

3. Texas Rangers (9-3)

Our first No. 1 of the season has had a bad week. The Rangers lost two of three games against Detroit and lost last year’s MVP, Josh Hamilton. As long as the fill-ins (Murphy/Davis/Borbon) do something, this team should be OK.

4. New York Yankees (7-4)

Huge series with Texas coming up. We will learn a lot about this team after this weekend. Phil Hughes is on the DL; let’s see how the Yankees react.

5. Cincinnati Reds (8-4)

Yeah, Joey Votto is batting .444—not a misprint. This offense is scary. If the pitching can keep things going, this team could possibly run away with the Central.

6. Cleveland Indians (8-4)

Won eight games in a row before losing the last two, but this team has been fun to watch. I should have drafted Asdrubal Cabrera as my starting fantasy team shortstop. In a crowded AL Central, will be interesting to see what happens to this team.

7. Kansas City Royals (8-4)

Tied for first in the AL Central! Whoa. Last week, I laughed at the thought that the Royals could be in these rankings for too much longer—looks like the joke’s on me. Jeff Francoeur—yes, I just said that—is having a great early season without trying to go yard every swing.

8. Chicago White Sox (7-5)

Did I mention the AL Central was crowded? This race is long from over, but I expect the White Sox to be right in the middle of it.

9. Milwaukee Brewers (7-5)

Oh, the Brew Crew still have Braun and Fielder. Those guys can rake, and hopefully when Greinke comes back, he can win some games for them. NL Central is another close division.

10. Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles California USA (7-5)

I didn’t give this team much chance this season, and granted, it’s early, but the Angels are showing signs of life. Dan Haren has been great so far, even getting a win in relief.

Bottom Four

Boston Red Sox

Does anyone have the number to Stub Hub? I need to sell some World Series tickets.

Seattle Mariners:

They have Ichiro and King Felix; that may be it. Jack Cust? Really?

New York Mets

Oh man, they are a train wreck. I wonder if John Franco has any arm left.

Houston Astros

I give this team a hard time but put together a nice win streak, and they will get out of the bottom four—promise.

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I am a fan of post game meltdowns. I am. I am pretty sure the “Jim Mora one” is my fave, but there are more. Here are, what I think, are the top melt downs of all-time (and yes, it’s been done before):

**Warning, language…maybe not be safe for work”

10. Derek Anderson– It’s the “new” one, but it is still pretty good. Derek Anderson probably laughed during Schindler’s List.

9. Allen Iverson– I THINK he’s talking about practice, not really sure.

8. Terrell Owens– I actually liked when T.O. did this. He liked Tony, but the “thats my QB” line is GREAT for impersonating.

7. Herm Edwards– What do you play to do? I BLOG TO WRITE THINGS THAT I THINK ARE FUNNY.

6. Bobby Knight– There are a lot of Bobby Knight sound bites, but this one shows his true “smarty pants” attitude. Hah.

5. Hal Mcrae– I think anyone who manages the Royals will flip out, but this dude just gets physical. WATCH OUT! Is he wearing long johns?

4. Dennis Green– One of the “new classics”. If you saw this game, and you coached the Cards, you would react like this too.

3. Kevin Borseth– Oh man, definitely the best entrance ever. Maybe he is just really frustrated because he is coaching a women’s basketball team…wait what?

2. Mike Gundy– You all know it, but I think we all miss his first words: “Brought to me, by a mother…of children”. Classic.

1. Jim Mora– I will start off by saying this: DO NOT BLAME ME IF THIS BLOG SUCKS. I will randomly think about this guy and just laugh. His post game interviews were great. I couldn’t pick just one, so here are two from Mora.

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